This message is in lieu of us talking on Teamspeak. I had planned to discuss these issues with you in a more diplomatic manner, but after your actions tonight I am no longer inclined to do so. I am not prepared to be rushed because of your impatience, and I have found your attitude over the last 24 hours to be insulting, presumptive and completely entitled.
You have made it abundantly clear that you have health issues, but what is even more clear is that you get off on throwing this information around and using it as a 'de facto' excuse for every failing in your life. You make assumptions on other peoples lives and situations based on absolutely no information or understanding, and assert yourself as some kind of victim in a world set against you.
Your sense of entitlement is staggering - I have never come across anyone before who is so willing to absolve themselves of all responsibility, and blame everything on their personal situation. You feel that we owe you something or some special treatment because you are so vocal about your issues? Why would you even think that? You joined OUR community - an obviously organised and strict one at that - and then expected us to be OK with whatever you felt capable of doing with an unlimited amount of patience and acceptance.
Clearly it was a mistake for you to join this guild, as we are not a good match for someone in your situation. It was up to you to know this, not us. You showed no remorse at missing events and letting people down until after you were removed from the guild, you only ever saw things from your own perspective.
Your arrogance in assuming that other people in the guild, especially myself, have no experience of any of the issues you are dealing with is a vile trait. What do you think you know about me? Not everyone brandishes their situation like a 'get out of jail free' card and expects everyone around them to adjust accordingly. We have had people in our guild with far more serious health issues than you who acted with humility and responsibility, who took ownership of their limitations and acted within their capabilities.
Whenever I have tried to discuss issues with you in the past - with kid gloves - you have arrogantly come back with phrases like "Deal with it". Why would you think I owe you this? What have you done to earn this favour? It is not up to the world to learn how to deal with you, it is up to you to learn how to deal with the world. If you cannot manage to do this, you will live an incredibly lonely and resentful life.
It seems to me that you use your health and emotions as a tool of manipulation. All your faults are to be excused, and everyone owes you something. You are the only person suffering in this world - no-one else could ever understand the trials that you must suffer. I simply cannot stand this - you need to get out of your own head and understand that other people have issues too, and they don't feel the need to push their issues in other peoples faces vying for attention or special treatment.
I am not pretending to understand your life or what you go through on a daily basis, but I am certainly telling you that you are not the only person with a complicated life, and right now you should be ashamed at how you are attempting to use them to get a free pass in life. You are not a victim, you are not being punished, you are simply not a good fit for our guild at this time.
For your own sake I urge you not to take the easy route yet again and dismiss this message. You need to realise and own up to this. You need to take responsibility for who you are as a person, and not think that your illnesses are somehow stopping you from being who you were meant to be. This is who you are - it's in your actions and how you cope with your situation. Accept it, own it, and improve it. It's not easy, but even attempting this journey will make you a much better person than you are today.
I am so pissed at you for depriving me the opportunity to reconnect with one of my old friends again, and for not giving me the chance to get to like you. There is a poison in you, and you need to recognise this and remove it. You need to learn some humility, learn your place in the world with others, and learn to own who you truly are. Stop with all the excuses, the drama, the over-attachments. The world is a lot bigger than you are allowing it to be - get out of your own head and be a better human.
I am not prepared to discuss this with you any further for the time being - I do not need the drama or the hassle. You should be grateful that I have taken the time to write this and do something very few people in life will do - be completely and unreservedly honest. Dismiss this at your peril - you only get so many chances in life to see a reflection of who you truly are.
That said, I did promise Daemion that, if you wished, I would give you the opportunity to rejoin us in the future. I will honour my word, but there is a long way to go before that will be possible. You cannot force me to be ready to talk to you Kassi - you have to accept the damage you have caused and wait for people to be ready to forgive you. So should you wish, contact me on the forums and I will let you know what the state of play is. If I need more time, I'll tell you - if not, then maybe we will talk again. Please leave this at least a month - we both need time to fully digest what has happened and move past it. And certainly do not come on our Teamspeak again uninvited.
I genuinely wish you the best in life - this has not been a pleasant message to write, but I hope it serves its purpose and puts you on a better and more honest path.